...was the first day of my new life, back home in Texas.
This is probably going to be the last audio recording I'll do, seems like a good place for a bookend. If I were to keep going, it would never end, and wind up like a dried up creek, with pond scum everywhere. That's what happens when one goes round and round, in their own head. Mental pond scum forms. Ugh. Enough of my own thoughts about my own life.
So that being said, I'm happy to be home, just getting my bearings and beginning to rebuild. I'm also happy to be in my 50's, broken down in my body, and out of the dating game. I'm expired. Completely. I have the bones of a woman in her 80's (I use a walker at home, and a cane when I HAVE to leave the house). Also, my mind is like that of a foggy brained elderly lady. So, I'm out of commission, and won't be looking for love in all the wrong places, like I used to.
I already found my place in the world - Jesus. He's my house, my shelter, safe place, provision, protection, comfort, security, and He meets my every need. With Jesus, there's no need to be self conscious or ashamed. He's what I was looking for all along.
I'm not changing that, rather, I'm going forward in Him. Where will that take me? What will happen next? Who knows, who cares. I'm safe with Him.
I'm back, but still not forming connections, social or otherwise. It's partially because of my psychological issue(s) with staying connected, but mainly, it's because I'm a different person, and I don't plan on even remotely trying to be who I used to be, or do the things I used to do.
I'm carrying on with following Jesus, and willing and able to take the losses that come with it. It's become a way of life.
(audio - 55 minutes)
(3) files.catbox.moe/ghk3be.mp3
(video)
(3) files.catbox.moe/487tlx.mp4
